Posts are lacking, time betwixt last and this more damaging to our planets well being than fracking. Oil shale obliterated results in water polluted, infititely many monkeys not posting causes unlimited monkeys possessing hands idle, soon mankind must travel on all fours hastily bridled, james franco and that damn virus, led to a situation so dire its......monkeys in saddles riding men as we rode horses, spurring us on literally, boots kick spurs hurt, swirling dust as we gallop along, no longer bipedal and thats just wrong.

I can't help myself

Already again this year
Yet another new haiku
I can't help myself

I love the haiku
Its so close to me and dear
I can't help myself

Expect more haikus
Many more haikus this year
Although maybe not

Now that I've gotten the haikus out of the way for this year.

Now that I've gotten the important things (i.e. the haikus) taken care of, I can get back to the things that are really important. I don't yet know what these things are. They probably deal with peanuts.
Peanuts are a common allergen. This is unfortunate for many, for peanuts are a nice treat. I myself like them in many varieties, be they honey roasted, or merely salted. But that's neither here nor there. What really matters, is the way peanuts relate to bread. Sandwiches, in particular. Peanut butter can be combined with a wide variety of toppings, be they jellies or bananas, to form a tasty bit of bread and topping delight. Peanut butter, however versatile it may be, should never be combined with mayonnaise; that's simply disgusting. The peanut butter should not be blamed for this, however. True fault lies in the role that the mayonnaise plays.
I'm no condiment connoisseur, but I do know that mayonnaise is one terrible topping. I know little about its origins, but I even that is significantly more than I care to know. In my humble opinion, mayonnaise is terrible. And thats what matters, my humble opinion. And I bet mayonnaise doesn't appreciate sarcasm, either.

a new year, a new post, another bit of buffoonery

No blogs in awhile
The last blog was a haiku
now this one is too

Haikus by Naresh. You ask if they're good? Oi Ya! Cuz Naresh made them.

My Name is Naresh
I like walking to market
It is Pure Pleasure

Kush is so active
Big Kush is so active
Kush is a big kush

Following the Logic

Joel Stein has a theme song. If that bastard (Thejoelstein.com) has one, I should have one too. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

Five Hundred & Three Pounds of Friendship

I weighed a lot of pork yesterday. 2860lbs of pork. I then weighed myself and Christopher Dale Spittle. 290lbs of grandeur. And then this old semi-fat fellow walked over to the scale, and I heard him say "Who are the people that have been doin' the weighin'?"
Me and spittle and rolled up on him, and then him rolled up onto the scale. I thought this dude would weigh somewhere between 150-200lbs, so I set the slider to 150. But no. I moved it (awkwardly) up 50lbs to the 200 pound notch, and got my weigh on. 213lbs of old semi-fat fellow. "I need to lose about 23 pounds," he gushed, after I told him the results. He has become very exact in his old age, and can teach Spittle and I many things. I can't help but wonder: How will the 2860lbs of pork all around him affect his plans to lose 23lbs? We will see.
Will I remember yesterday as being a day when things changed for me? So far, I have 213lbs of evidence that it will be, but I'll probably change less than his weight. It's an inconvenient truth that you don't lose weight by hanging around a bunch of pork. I never saw that guy leave; I hope he went home.

An Inconvenient Truth

Two days ago, I said I couldn't remember the last time it had rained. Things have changed. I now remember that day as being yesterday. Thanks, Al Gore!

A blog about not blogging/caring

Its been far more than a hot week since that last post where I had said it had been a hot week since the last time I posted. IDK how I feel about this. I recognize this not-feeling of feeling as the feeling of apathy.

Its Been Awhile, But I Have Returned

I haven't posted in well over a hot week. Infinitely many monkeys would have posted at least 3 times in that span, assuming all that one can assume.

Horrible Times For I

It rained today, a day following a day of me being sick; it did not rain on the day I was sick, FYI. I was letting one of the McKenzies drive me to the store, and we got stuck in the mud. Then we took his car instead.
When we got back, following a few unsuccesful attempts, we managed to get the car unstuck with the brute strength of Jason W. Harris. Sadly, we got stuck again about 2 feet later. I got really muddy, but my headband is OK. I am now wearing Ben's pants and his shirt. His pants have a hole located in a very strategic location, I suspect he may have plans. I will be on guard, for the time being. Its fucked up.

A Crucial Ass "WTS" Moment

I completely forgot about having made this bastard of a blog. Damn. Like an hour ago, without warning or prompt, it came back to me all at once as: "WTS? Did I make a goddamn blog last night?" Since then, I've looked into it, and I did. Its quality fits the level you'd expect to find in a blog discarded by sober thought in under 5 hours or so. Thats fucked up. Apparently I also made a new word: "Blox" is a combination of 'blog' and 'box,' and is that little box you put shit in before you post it.

Valdity of Infinitely Many Monkeys Agreeing.

I started thinking, would infinitely many monkeys ever agree? I think not conclusively, since infinite many monkeys would produce infinitely many chances of disagreeance. Infinitely many monkeys wouldn't form opinions better than one monkey, I think, since they wouldn't agree. Quantity don't make Quality. It takes infinitely many monkeys to write "A Tale of Two Cities," but it only takes one Tom Clancy to write infinitely many Tom Clancy books.

Infinitely many monkeys agree?

That blog title baffles even me. It just came to mind as I was thinking of a title. One of those really random thoughts that just pop up when trying to solve something complex like what last-minute gift is best, or at least not worst. Very terribly timed thoughts, they are, as they don't come alone.
Thoughts on thoughts are those thoughts that usually continue to spiral out of control until that exact moment that "its still not too late" becomes "its too late to think its not too late." If you can achieve some strange grasp of the whole process, though, it would be quite useful. "Ted wanted this cuz its yellow. Yellow is good cuz its not green. Green is for Tina. I'll get Ted a Snoop Dogg CD." Too bad Tina can't just appreciate her role in helping you as one of those gifts from the heart.
This is all completely off-topic, so I'm just gonna post it and start a new one.