I weighed a lot of pork yesterday. 2860lbs of pork. I then weighed myself and Christopher Dale Spittle. 290lbs of grandeur. And then this old semi-fat fellow walked over to the scale, and I heard him say "Who are the people that have been doin' the weighin'?"
Me and spittle and rolled up on him, and then him rolled up onto the scale. I thought this dude would weigh somewhere between 150-200lbs, so I set the slider to 150. But no. I moved it (awkwardly) up 50lbs to the 200 pound notch, and got my weigh on. 213lbs of old semi-fat fellow. "I need to lose about 23 pounds," he gushed, after I told him the results. He has become very exact in his old age, and can teach Spittle and I many things. I can't help but wonder: How will the 2860lbs of pork all around him affect his plans to lose 23lbs? We will see.
Will I remember yesterday as being a day when things changed for me? So far, I have 213lbs of evidence that it will be, but I'll probably change less than his weight. It's an inconvenient truth that you don't lose weight by hanging around a bunch of pork. I never saw that guy leave; I hope he went home.
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